I was watching a movie last night, “The Shift.” It outlines answers to the profound mysteries of life, like: “Why am I here?” “What is life about?” “Do I even matter?” “What is my purpose?”
Pretty heady stuff.
The best part was, the age old wisdom they offered was easy to apply to recovering from addiction.
This one stood out to me:
“We are all Divine Spirits,with Courage, Wisdom and Love in our hearts.”
It feels like salve for my soul.
But, I also remember this kind of thing seeming impossible to believe, in the start of my recovery, and impossible to internalize…
As the movie ended, it all came together:
“We are all divine creatures - with courage, wisdom and love in our hearts
And it is in Our Recovery - that we are shown the way back.”
I don’t know of any other statement that sums up recovery from addiction - and who we really are - better that that.
But, the problem is, when we are still in emotional pain, such beautiful thoughts seems unreachable. They can even sound ridiculous… and like lies. Even if we can believe that that might be possible for other, we can feel certain, that this transformation is not true for us.
All I know is what I’ve experienced. Years ago, I was in emotional agony. I felt hopeless; stupid; weird… and too big of a mess for anyone to help. So these “Candyland” statements made me sick. …because they seemed light years away from where I was. I felt like the people saying them were cruel - that’s how far I was from believing any of it could happen to me.
But I hung in there. I tried to understand… I made mistakes - and found mistakes are a big part of learning… I asked people for help.
Today I have over 7 years sober and abstinent.
For me, if there was anything I needed to pound into my head, it was this:
“No one can do it alone.”
It took me a long time to realize: they were talking to ME.
*Think about calling someone when you’re hurting. Call someone right now. Text someone. ;) Get out to a meeting… :)
You’ll be happy you did.
